3 Comments

Casablanca – The Players

In general it should be said that in reviewing the original it has been noted by the new producers that most of the original was spent with the characters sitting and talking, which is boring. 

I mean seriously, who would pay $20 to see this?

Perhaps a grittier approach is in order?  This does take place during World War II.  This does involve Nazis.  Why not a little bit of action? More on this later.

The Players

Sam

Originally Played by:

Dooley Wilson

Best Known For:

Playing it again.

Recast Notes: 

Musician would be ideal.  Role is small in original, perhaps we could expand.  Perhaps as comic relief?

Yvonne

Originally Played by:

Madeleine Lebeau

Best Known For:

Being ditched by Rick as soon as Ilsa comes into town.  Also singing national anthems, French.

Recast notes:

Probably a good idea to make her less French.  No one likes the French.

Carl

Originally Played by:

S.Z. Sakall

Best Known For:

Being a loveable barkeep with a crazy accent.

Recast notes:

We could probably get away with this guy being French, but would we want to?  Would be better if likable and capable of cocking a shotgun with one hand.

Ugarte

Originally Played by:

Peter Lorre

Best Known For:

Being played by Peter Lorre.

Recast notes:

It might be necessary to exhume Lorre’s body.

Major Strasser

Originally Played by:

Conrad Veidt

Best Known For:

Being a Nazi.  Also very, very dumb.  Think Colonel Klink dumb.

Recast notes:

The obvious villain of the piece.  A long scar on his face will drive this point home to audiences.

Signor Ferrari

Originally Played by:

Sydney Greenstreet

Best Known For:

Running a dive bar.  Finding idle banter wildly amusing.

Recast notes:

Is it just me, or does this role just scream Gerard Depardieu?

Captain Renault

Originally Played by:

Claude Rains

Best Known For:

Being shocked, shocked that gambling was going on in Rick’s establishment.

Recast notes:

Charming.  Corrupt.  Short.  Dwarf?

Victor Lazlo

Originally Played by:

Paul Henreid

Best Known For:

Rousing support among the hopeless.  Choosing to meet men in clandestine places and leaving his lady-love behind.

Recast notes:

Charismatic.  Foreign.  Not Hitler (note no moustache).  One of our romantic leads.

Ilsa Lund

Originally Played by:

Ingrid Bergman

Best Known For:

Abandoning men as the Germans occupy Paris.

Recast notes:

Our Female lead.  Requires actress who can combine passion, doubt, innocence, and an inner-strength.  A nice rack would be nice.

Rick Blaine

Originally Played by:

Humphrey Bogart

Best Known For:

Being the most awesome character ever.  Imagine if Han Solo ran Jabba’s casino and nobly stepped out of the way so that Luke and Leia could live happily ever after… wait.  Don’t imagine that.

Recast notes:

We need someone bankable, capable of incredible emotional versatility, of projecting smoldering anger underneath a calm exterior.  Experience shooting uzis will be beneficial.

And so we have it, the cast of characters.  Next, the plan coming together.

And cigars.  Of course, cigars.

Tomorrow:  The New Cast

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3 comments on “Casablanca – The Players

  1. it’s really scaring me. the re-cast , I mean. hope I can sleep tonight.

  2. Oh calm down, Lin-Lin. What’s the worst he can do?? (On second thought, don’t think about that if you want to sleep..)

  3. I’M AGAINST ANY REMAKE – LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE. BUT I DO HAVE A THING FOR GEORGE CLOONEY. I WOULD LIKE TO SEE HIM AS THE BLAINE (MY MOTHER’S MAIDEN NAME) GUY.

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