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Casablanca – The Recast – Part II (The Parody)

And now it’s time to announce the casting for the parody, “Casablanka.”

The Cast

Role:  Sam

ActorBiz Markie

Producers’ Notes:  “We’re really proud of ourselves on this one.  And, yes, the song Sam is requested to play is ‘Just a Friend’ rather than ‘As Time Goes By.’  Sheer genius.”

Role:  Yvonne

ActressSarah Silverman

Producers’ Note:  “She did that thing where she pretends to have a singing vagina.  We were literally on the floor in stitches.  So will the audience when she does this in front of the Nazis!!!!!”

Role:  Carlos, the bartender

ActorCarlos Mencia

Producers’ Notes: “This was a natural for us.  Carlos will more inhabit this role than act… which, all things considered, is no doubt for the best.”

Role:  Ugarte

ActorWeird Al Yankovic

Producers’ Notes:  “He’s writing an ‘original’ parody song for the movie.  It’s going to be called ‘Casablanka’ and is sung to the tune of ‘The Macarena.’

Role:  Major Strasser

ActorLarry the Cable Guy

Producers’ Note:  “We cast who as what?  Damn we must have been drunk!  I don’t know, a hillbilly Nazi might just work.  You don’t know for sure that it won’t!  Stop yelling at us, we’re way hungover!”

Role:  Signor Ferrari

ActorJason Lee

Producers’ Notes:  “We really need to stop having people taking pictures of us in compromising positions.  But I won’t feel guilty for being photogenic.”

Role:  Captain Renault

ActorJack Black

Producers’ Notes:  “No one today is able to project corruption in an amusing way like this guy.  He was born to play this role in a parody.”

And finally we get to our leads!  You can cut the tension with one of these:

Not a Cutco knife.

Role:  Victor Lazlo

ActorVerne Troyer

Producers’ Notes:  “What we asked ourselves at the beginning of casting was this: ‘What can we do to change the dynamic of the love triangle?’ and it just came to us: Midget Victor.  Once we got to that place, Verne’s casting became not only natural but necessary.”

Role:  Ilsa

ActressElizabeth Banks

Producers’ Notes:  “We’ve decided to cast for slutty in the parody.  Ms. Banks does slutty very convincingly.  I mean, we definitely want to do her.  We’re very pleased with this bit of casting.”

Role:   Rick Blaine

ActorDane Cook

Producers’ Notes:  “He’s hot.  Volcano hot.  But not so talented as to intimidate the rest of the cast.  Deep down, everyone else knows they are just a little bit funnier than our lead, which should lead to terrific performances, not by Dane, who is quite incapable of real acting.”

Well, we hope you were excited with today’s news!  Tomorrow we will wrap up with notes on script and thematic changes.  Have a Happy Thanksgiving!!

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One comment on “Casablanca – The Recast – Part II (The Parody)

  1. OK. I am at peace and can just have Thanksgiving now!

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