Let me preface this post by saying that I always thought that Flash Gordon was a pretty ridiculous movie.
It’s single greatest contribution to the cinematic universe, letting us know what James Bond would look like if he was half-leprechaun.
I mean, there isn’t a single thing about the movie that isn’t at least a little bit ridiculous. From Dalton’s green prince to the hapless lead who couldn’t act his way out of a paperbag to evil minions who apparently bleed gasoline and get all bug-eyed…
Klytus, your eyes are doing something funky. Also you’ve been spiked to death.
…there was ridiculousness of every conceivable flavor on display. Nevertheless, it was fun.
And easy on the eyes.
But like many fun but campy films, the posterity of this film (limited though it is) hinges on the caliber of its villain.
The spiky hinge of Flash Gordon.
And kudos to the wardrobe department!
It’s enough to make Tevye turn into a space scientist!
Yes, now Ming. Ming decides to destroy Earth because he’s bored and needs something to do.
Probably because he’s the kind of a guy who own a golden war rocket…
And he looks like this.
To make Von Sydow evil looking…
Congratulations to Willem Dafoe, though, on taking the prize.
…they shaved his head and gave him cartoonishly huge eyebrows.
Anyway, the guy stole the film. You’ll notice I don’t have a single picture posted of “Flash Gordon” himself. That’s because he was irrelevant. Just some musclebound meathead. Fine, I’ll give you a picture, but only because I’m a completionist…
Neither has the movie. The thirty year-old special effects are no longer worthy of the name, the acting is horrible. The stars are now saggy and wrinkled. You know what that means.
I’m thinking this guy would make a great Ming…
Now, you’ll have to imagine him bald and with eyebrows that go off into outerspace, but you get the picture.