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Happy Valentine’s Day . . . Riiiiiight.

So, today’s the day.  That special day.  The day when executives at various confectionaries, florists and the Hallmark offices look like this:

Ka-Ching!

That’s right.  It’s Valentine’s Day.  A day of romance, chocolate and little chalk-like hearts with tiny little messages on them.

They’re not usually this literal, but still it’s preferable to this…

Although I admire the honesty.

Let’s face it.  Many of us have a romanticized view of romance.  We get it from Hollywood, that great creature of Jennifer Aniston projects and Disney films.

Damn.  Now I want some pasta.

But the facts are much more harsh.  The divorce rate in America is higher than anywhere else in the world and though the numbers have fallen with a bad economy (which sounds more a practical notion than a romantic one) the chances are the person you’re spending Valentine’s Day with will not be your significant other forever.

As long as I’m trampling on fantasies, Santa isn’t real.

I know, I know.   I can hear the naysayers now, claiming I’m just a negative single guy trampling on the notion of true love because I’ve never experienced it myself.  But that’s not true.  I believe, as much as anyone, that my dream girl is out there, waiting for me.  I’m sure of it.

Hey, nightmares are dreams, too.

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