As anyone who has ever used a photocopy machine could tell you when you make a copy of a copy of a copy, the quality degrades the further you get from the source document.
Countless science fiction stories tell us this is also true when it comes to cloning human beings.
As evidence, many will turn to the sad tale of Dick Clark.
Few people know this, but the original Dick Clark…
…passed away in 1992 only to be replaced by a clone.
And this worked well for a few years until the first Dick Clark Clone passed away in 1998. From there was a continual decline in Dick Clark Clone quality until there was nothing left but a gelatinous husk.
So it’s pretty well established that when making a copy it is better to make a second copy from the original source than to make a copy of a copy.
Which brings me to Philip Dick. Philip Dick is the man responsible for almost all the science fiction films that don’t begin with the word “Star.”
His stories have been turned into cinema for years. From Blade Runner to Minority Report to The Adjustment Bureau to A Scanner Darkly to Screamers, his varied and curious concepts have attracted attention for years.
In addition to showcasing Ironside’s amazing dramatic range from two-armed to no-armed…
…and a nearly naked Sharon Stone…
…there was a three-breasted woman whose very existence blew the mind of many an adolescent boy, sundering their verbal acuity to a Keanu Reeves level.
And coming soon to a theater near you will be a remake.
As unnecessary as a third nipple on a two-breasted woman, and 60% less fun, the Total Recall remake is a perfect example of why a copy should not be made of a copy.
And a leading reason why the Mayans think the world will end in 2012.
The only way this would make any sense to me is if Michael Ironside was back to reprise his role.
But, failing that, it’s just another example of the complete void of creativity in Hollywood. This is an old and tired argument…
…but here’s the thing. Hollywood doesn’t need to be creative. There are literally thousands of Science Fiction stories out there
Some few dozen not even written by Phillip Dick.
Why not make something, if not original, at least not shown already? Here are three movies that should have been bankrolled before a Total Recall retread:
3. A Stranger in a Strange Land