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How much traffic would you generate to a modest blog with a big ridiculous headline like, “Former President Bill Clinton has a rash shaped like an ankh on his chest.”

I’m not necessarily a media whore.  I do not require a whole lot of attention.  But as a person who once published a half-assed post about former Faith No More Guitarist Jim Martin and a giant pumpkin that generates multiple hits a day and has accumulated five times as many hits as any other posts on my blog…

And 20% of the total hits for my site to date.

I sometimes wonder what could drive even more traffic to my site.  To try to get my head around this I feel I must break down that old post in its particulars.

It featured not one, but TWO images and references to people who have retreated from the public eye:

1. Rick Moranis

In all his glory

2. Jim Martin

Pre-Pumpkin

Neither of these guys were exactly A-list celebrities, so their presence alone can’t account for the traffic.  So let’s move on.

The only other part of this was a fairly mundane object made less mundane by one unusual characteristic .

To illustrate:

Pumpkin=Gourd=Boring

And…

Giant=Unusual=Mildly Interesting

So, it seems pretty clear that the key to traffic is the following formula:

Former Public Figure + Mundane Thing + Unusual Aspect of Mundane Thing

So clearly the way to generate traffic is to mix the following ingredients:

A former President
A natural, though embarassing condition
Le coup de grâce

All of which leads to my blog title, “Former President Bill Clinton has a rash shaped like an ankh on his chest.”

Come on you anonymous internet lurkers.  I’m ready for you.

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