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The single most dangerous aspect of the information age: Old Family Photos

There is a lot of fear out there about the new dangers of the cyber-age.  Dangers like identity theft.

Which leaves us with such questions as “Who is the real Emmitt Smith?’

Not to mention the difficulty the age has created in discerning the difference between a  real celebrity or false one…

What a celebrity should look like.

What celebrity often looks like in the Cyber-Age.

Just some guy who has provided more of value to the world than The Situation ever, ever will.

And the age allows for the quick spread of information, no longer how stupid and asinine that information should be.

Proof that no matter how many people believe a stupid idea it still remains a stupid idea.

But all these pale in comparison to the real danger:  the digitization of old family photos.

I know Ryan Seacrest is with me on this one.

It used to be that in order for someone to have access to old humiliating childhood photos of you they had to either:

A.  Know you personally, be actually invited into your house & shown by your parents where the family albums are kept.


B.  Be the single strangest cat burglar of all time.

Well, second strangest anyway.

But now baby boomers are posting such pictures, largely with impunity.  It turns out this kind of thing isn’t even close to being illegal despite ample evidence that it is much more damaging to the GDP than smoking pot.

You guys need to put your petty differences aside and do something about this. And I don’t mean posting pictures of your grandchildren on Facebook.

I mean, how are you supposed to command the respect of millions when horrifying images of you are readily available via a simple Google search?

I really shouldn’t be able to tell you with any kind of authority that Mitt Romney swung the bat like a little girl who was scared there was a spider on the ball, but thanks to the internet, I totally can.

So, what can be done to stop this?  Is there anyone out there with the brass balls to stand up for what is right and good?

Before stepping forward you should know that I think a stand such as this requires you have at least five brass balls of varying size.

No, no one?  President Obama?

You just tweeted a picture of your dog? I guess that eliminates you.

All right, not Obama.  Romney?

No, you can’t have a more “hip” staffer do it for you, Mitt. Next!

Okay, how about The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart?  Surely he could lead the charge.

(Slowly backing away, doing my best not to make eye-contact.)

Is there no one?  Fine, I guess I’ll have to do it.  I’ll lead the charge.  I’ll make my voice heard…

Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! Well, at least my brother, Nate, looks as bad as I do.


One comment on “The single most dangerous aspect of the information age: Old Family Photos

  1. ah, the days of the big glasses! and thinness! you were all beautiful boys.

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