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Somebody please tell PETA that I don’t hate animals

In a previous post I relayed my opinion that people shouldn’t feel bad about eating Nemo

Although I’d recommend eating around the eyes for the best flavor experience.

… and I stand behind that post 100%.  My brother indicated surprise that I didn’t somehow work the flopping fish from Faith No More‘s “Epic” video into the post.

(Go to 3:49 for some hardcore fish-flopping action; it’s way hot)

It is a bit surprising I left this out because:

1. The people who insist that fish have feelings are the same people who complained about this fish flopping.

2.  I do have a predilection for including references to defunct musical acts in my posts (see previous posts involving Elliott Smith, The Kinks, The Connells & Nirvana)

3.  A YouTube search for the video “Epic” leads to this video of people making idiots of themselves:

4. Jim Martin drives the majority of my traffic to this page and the logical next step for me is to make this a Faith No More Fan Blog.

He’s the patron saint of the Dim Light… and his pumpkin is our holy gourd.

I suppose if I had actually had a reason, it would have been that I didn’t want to come off as too anti-animal.

Okay, I am anti-raccoon, but there’s a history there that’s just too long to get into here.

I don’t have any pets, you see, and it’s easy for people to leap to the wrong conclusion.

Easy and fun!!! Wheeeeeeee!

The reason I don’t have pets isn’t that I don’t like animals.  In fact, animals tend to gravitate to me when I visit friends and family.

“It appears you are impervious to my bacteria-filled poop. Interesting. Well, as long as you’re alive I think I’ll plant myself down on your mighty warm lap and purr like a boat revving it’s engine. You may pet me if you like.”

But I’m easily distracted and my memory cannot be relied upon for such mundane things as feedings.

I once killed a cactus through inattention. Do you know how hard you have to try to kill a cactus?

So please, won’t somebody tell PETA that I don’t hate animals?

Because the local goose population is acting awfully skittish around me and I think they could use some assurance.


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