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Somebody help me, I’m running out of fake names for cats

If you’ve read any of my posts over the past month you’ve no doubt said to yourself, “Self, that Craig fella sure does talk about animals a lot for a guy who claims not to like animals.”

In this version of me talking about you talking about me to yourself you’re wearing a hilariously absurd outfit. Fair warning.

And it’s true.  I do include animals a lot.

Too much. My animal to monopoly man image ratio is all out of whack.

Now, I’m normally not self-aware enough to have figured that out for myself.

I didn’t even realize I wasn’t wearing a shirt until my neighbor posted this picture of me on my Facebook Wall. My rebuttal comments about how silly he looked in his bike helmet were absolutely scathing.

So I only noticed it when I was trying to come up with a fake name for this little guy:

Meet Siegfried Roy. What? I told you I had run out of names.

And it took me half an hour.

Which is also how long it took me to realize that someone had switched book covers on me and I was reading lady porn.

Though, to my credit, it only took me fifteen minutes to think to myself that the latest George R.R. Martin book had taken an unusual turn, even for him.

So now I am asking for your help, not because I want it, but because I need it.

Don’t do it for me. Do it for the cat I’ll call Mr. Balboa because I’ve run out of good ideas.

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