Craig Leska, now 17% off.

If you’ve seen me recently (and had seen me before) you know that I’ve dropped a few pounds.  For those who haven’t seen me and doubt my word I post these before and after pictures:

I won’t hear a word against the “Eat as many roses as you can” diet. It works.

I don’t say this to brag.  I’m not sure how entitled a person is to feel proud about such a thing.  It seems to me the easiest way to lose a lot of weight is to gain too much in the first place.

Of course, no one does anything alone. I had a lot of help gaining the weight from the likes of the cake pictured above.

This post is about something else.  Namely, the way I am treated by others.  The one thing you notice when you put on a few (dozen) pounds is that people start looking away like you’re the sun and they don’t have one of those viewfinders you would use to look at a solar eclipse.

I hear wearing a geisha outfit also helps.

It happens when you’re walking on the sidewalk, into work, everywhere.

Even underwater. Like this turtle hasn’t put on a few pounds itself… hypocrite.

I suppose it’s a natural reaction.  There are some things in life we as human beings just aren’t prepared to look upon.

Many of them feature Treat Williams. Go figure.

So, it’s understandable to some extent.  It doesn’t make it any easier that first time you go to the supermarket and load up on health food and the teenager at the register takes a look at you and rolls their eyes.

“Sure you want that broccoli, mister. How about some Ho Hos to wash them down?”

But as someone who has had to deal with that kind of treatment for years, that really isn’t something I was unprepared for, and it didn’t stop me.  What I was unprepared for was the moment when all that changed.

Change comes from within. (That horrible pun is in honor of my father, without whose influence I wouldn’t be the humorist I am today; so blame him when my jokes don’t work.)

When the cashiers started making small talk with me and when people started meeting my eyes as I passed them on the sidewalk, that was odd.

“But I wasn’t being unfriendly when you smiled at me, lady! I just assumed you had recognized someone who was standing directly behind me.”

And frankly it makes me a little uncomfortable.  There is something to be said for being able to walk around without anyone really looking at you.  It’s as close as you can get to the childhood dream of walking around invisible.

Most people just have to settle for the hat and horn-rimmed glasses.

And it’s tiring.  Smiling at people all the goddamned time… I don’t know how you skinny people do it.  I don’t want to be friendly all the time!

It’s why I never followed Prince into the fast-food service industry, where such things are expected of you. Also fries.

It almost makes me want to gain the weight back.

As does this cheeseburger. So forbidden… so delicious…

But I guess I won’t do that.  I’ll just have to suck it up.  So if you run into me sometime and I’m less than awesome with you, please know that it isn’t because I think I’m too good for you, it’s that I’m so very tired.  I apologize in advance.


On a separate, unrelated, note, I would like to thank the person who looked up my blog using the search item: “the light was on but it was dim craig leska.” You are part of a tiny minority and I hope you weren’t scared away by the hordes of search engine traffic on the Jim Martin/Faith No More thruway that runs directly down the center of my blog.

I would also like to give a shout-out to the web surfer who found me using the search term: “and i will remember your name and face on the way you are judged by the funhouse cast.”  This is officially the longest search item ever to be used to find my blog.  I hope you found something akin to what you were looking for, but since I’ve never posted anything on the song “None Shall Pass” by Aesop Rock, I suspect you didn’t.


4 comments on “Craig Leska, now 17% off.

  1. Leska! you’re inspiring me! stop it!!!!!

  2. Fairly certain that first search was me….. One of my witty fill in the blank posts.

  3. I think you should be proud. No one will ever understand what you overcame than you. i was heavier, though degrees are subjective. I worked hard, eating right and exercising. People judge. Most people that would meet me now and hit on me would never understand how it felt before. I was young and it was slow so I have different results than some. People don’t understand that I know the prejudice that comes with weight. I don’t know you, but I am proud of you.


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