For you non-sports fans out there, a horrible thing was televised last night.
Replacement referees (the normal referees are being locked out) blew a call in a football game. That’s right. A football team that should have won a game last night lost and a team that should have lost won.
It has received more media coverage today than Mitt Romney’s terror tan.
But the crack research staff at The Dim Light have found ten things that occurred last night which are worse than the NFL game shenanigans and we are proud to present them to you.
10. Ernie from down the street found an eyelash in his soup.
9. Uncle Doug’s gimpy knee gave out.
8. Over a hundred thousand dogs surreptitiously crapped in a neighbor’s lawn.
7. Tiger Woods did not win a golf tournament.
6. Cancer was not cured.
5. Joan Rivers had another “successful” reconstructive surgery performed.
4. The more militant faction of the squirrel hegemony declared open war on the human race.
3. The New Orleans Saints continue to be winless.
2. Hugh Hefner decided not to name me as his heir.
1. Another five hairs on my head conceded defeat to the relentless onslaught of male-pattern baldness.
And there you have it. It really helps to put things in perspective.
- The Blown Call That May End The NFL Ref Lockout (theatlanticwire.com)